The Changing Nature of Friendship

The internet, and social media specifically, is dramatically changing the whole nature of friendship. I was having a conversation with Frank the other day. We were sitting in a café as we do occasionally, and I mentioned that I had been talking to a “mate” of mine in China about something that morning. Frank interrupted me and said “You have a mate in China? How on earth did you meet him?” I explained that we had met online through my blogging work, and his retort was “Oh, so he's not a mate then, he can't be if you haven't even met.” I let it rest at that and moved on.

But the exchange continued to bug me as we chatted on, and I returned to it before we departed. I asked him to define a “mate” for me. He told me a mate is someone you chat to regularly, someone you meet regularly and someone you would call if you needed some help. Someone who “You know, who tells you stuff, what they've been doing, what they want for the future.”

Now Frank and I have been friends for many years, and we meet up once every couple of weeks, and we probably talk on the phone about once a month. And I know I could call on him if I had a problem.

He was astonished when I told him that, putting aside the fact that I had never met the guy in China, I know pretty much all about his life, his plans for the future, and what he does most days. He was openly amazed when I told him that we chat or email at least half a dozen times a day, and that through our blogs, we read every word the other writes.

Frank simply couldn't get his head around the fact that it was possible to develop that kind of friendship through the internet. He asked a few of test questions:

1/ If he turned up here tomorrow unannounced, would you put him up for the night? Of course!

2/ If you were in trouble and needed to borrow some cash, would he help? Probably, as long as he could afford it.

3/ I bet you don't know when his birthday is! Actually I do!

In Frank's world, there are friends, there are colleagues and there are work contacts. He is able to clearly define the borders between each. And I understand where he is, because I was there once.

But it’s different now - I don't suggest we should or could become best buddies with everyone we meet on our net travels, but I do believe that for the first time in history, we are able to develop solid, serious and mutually beneficial friendships with people, without having to meet them to do so.

And I think that bodes well for the future, don't you?

If you have time, check these out:

1/ Transglobe Blog – my new project

2/ Feelgood Friday

3/ Labeled with love?