Reciprocity is a two way street

When we finished writing Beyond Blogging, we emailed a copy to each of the featured bloggers and those we had case studied. The email had a complimentary copy of the book attached, and asked if the bloggers would like to promote the book as an affiliate.

Image: Gregory Szarkiewicz / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

As you know, most did. And thanks to their efforts, it was a major success.

As a next step, we contacted other influential bloggers to see if they would be interested in joining us. Again, we attached a copy of the book.

Some agreed to help, some didn’t. That’s normal. But almost without exception, the “no” people took the time and trouble to personally email us. A typical response was “Thanks for the book – I really enjoyed it. The timing isn’t right for me to talk to my readers about it, but maybe next time. And best of luck!”

That was fine. That’s business.

How not to say no?

But one response really stuck in my craw.

It was from a lady who I assume to be the blogger’s assistant, or one of them. It explained that the blogger was “not looking for any additional joint ventures or affiliate opportunities”, that he is extremely busy, and that he only considers offers from people who have already run “really successful campaigns” for his own products.

The email also had a link for further information. The link took me to a post which reinforced the point. I’m paraphrasing here, but the message once again suggested the best way to be considered as a JV partner was to offer the other person’s product first and make a “ton of sales.” It talked at length about the importance of reciprocity and how it’s a huge motivator.

To add to the frustration, I was in fact an affiliate of this particular blogger. Despite sending a reasonable number of people to his site last year, though, I had failed to make any sales.

I finally replied thanking the assistant and asking if she would pass the book on to her boss. She assured me she would, but I heard nothing more.

Feelings

I need to make something clear here. My issue wasn’t with being rejected – that’s business, and that’s normal. It was the manner of the rejection that hurt. I ended up feeling insignificant, unimportant and downright patronized.

And there the story should have ended.

But this week an email landed in my inbox from said blogger. It seems that he is now re-launching one of his own products. He’d like me to “be a part of this.”

And funniest of all is that Nathan and I are now sitting on a huge database of people who bought Beyond Blogging. People who are what this blogger would call “perfect prospects” for his program. They’re interested in blogging, and have proved they are happy to pay to further their learning.

So, what should I do? Here are some choices:

1/ Ignore it, shut up, get over it and move on.

2/ Send him a patronizing email about reciprocity and link back to his own piece on the subject.

3/ Tell him if he promotes Beyond Blogging and sells a “ton of books” we’ll send details of his product to our customers.

What would you do?

Some other posts to check out if you’re new here:

1/ Being positive

2/ How to make money from blog advertising

3/ How do you sell an affiliate product?